i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
