So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize