I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize