Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
His nipple licking is glorious
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