They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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