she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
