Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
