I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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