I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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