I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
