i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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