Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
