is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
