so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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