i would punch a child for taco bell
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
