He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
