Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
