A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
