Whats the glycemic index on semen?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
