i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
