How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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