i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
