I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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