Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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