I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
