I hate your face
True but thats because hes a fetus.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
