Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize