Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I have post one night stand depression
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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