I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
