Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm always down for nudity.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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