My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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