a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
