is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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