i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Alive.
So much puke
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
