Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
