i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
