conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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