I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
