Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
