oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
