Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize