Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
