the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
