don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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