I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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