Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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