D3 body, D1 cock
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
