we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
