we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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