Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
