its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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