OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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