4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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