It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
