You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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