Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
