I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
