Where is the hickey?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
