I hate your face
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
