I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I checked into jail on foursquare
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
