if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize